Saturday, November 6, 2010

Two men were boasting...

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."

http://www.ahajokes.com/war006.html

A critical shortage of typists...

A critical shortage of typistsA soldier was asked to report to the headquarters sergeant for an assignment.The sergeant said, ?We have a critical shortage of typists. I`ll give you a little test. Type this,? he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. ?That`s fine,?" he said. ?Report for work at 8 tomorrow.??But aren`t you going to check the test?? the prospective clerk asked.The sergeant grinned. ?You passed the test,? he replied, ?when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.?

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/army-jokes

A recruit examines the food ...

A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room."Do I have any choice here," he asks a sergeant."Yes, you do. You may eat it or not"

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/army-jokes

Build a Road the Army ...

Build a Road the Army WayOne of my first jobs as a new Army lieutenant in Vietnam was to build a road across a rice paddy. Progress was slow because the paddy devoured most of the dirt we laid down. My superior officer, a major, appeared one day, determined to speed things up.His solution was to scrape the crust off the top of the paddy and with it, construct the road. He quelled my protestations with a stern, ?Lieutenant, *I`m* in charge.?He ordered a bulldozer into the paddy, but the massive monster sank in the muck. Undaunted, the major ordered another dozer to help the first one out. It, too, was soon stuck. After a long silence, the major got into his jeep. His departing words were,?Lieutenant, you`re in charge.?

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/army-jokes

Sarge & the new recruits...

Sarge & the new recruitsOne day, a sergeant of long service standing was trying to teach a bunch of raw recruits how to handle the rifle. The rookies were firing hither and yon and finally one of them shot the sarge in the seat of his breeches. ?You dumb, censored, son of censored, censored, censored,? screamed the sarge.A second lieutenant that was with the group cautioned, ?Remember, Sarge, you`re in the New Army. No profanities.?The sergeant apologized to the officer and turned back to the recruit. ?My goodness gracious,? he said, ?What on earth was your motivation in shooting me with unwarranted expenditure of valuable ammunition??